In collaboration with Emily Zhao & Sue Roh
Initial Plans
We were planning on sitting in isolation for eight hours with little to no structure to heighten the discomfort from isolation that we were collectively feeling. In order to make the experience more interactive, we were going to create a public URL that friends and strangers could visit to view a live stream of each of our rooms and send messages that we could view later.
Nick’s Feedback
Repetition or a series of rituals that give a structure to the time that otherwise can feel empty.
How might you accentuate the sharing? Are there elements that can repeat across all three of your performances
What will be the exit of the performance?
After reading Nick’s feedback, we realized the necessity of hammering out the goals of the experience. We agreed that we were trying to cope with loneliness rather than heighten its discomfort, which the current structure of the performance was likely not going to achieve.
Reframing experience for mindfulness and meditation
We decided that different mindful practices would help us attain peace with our loneliness. We did away with the live stream aspect of the performance, since we felt that it would insinuate surveillance, which would inevitably alter our behavior and detract from the goals we were trying to accomplish.
We moved away from the idea of trying to “prove something.” We ended up focusing more on acceptance of our current state.
Goals
Embracing loneliness rather than fearing it
Developing better methods of assuaging negative thought loops and detrimental behavioral patterns
Assessing our relationship with time and how we can better schedule it to allow for intentional mindfulness
To strip away technology and to take a break from external stresses
Loneliness itself is an uncomfortable feeling, but it really exacerbates depression and anxiety. The surest way to relieve anxiety and depression is to be mindful and present. We wanted not to make ourselves feel worse, but to actually find ways to better cope alone.
Schedule & Techniques
We spoke with some of our peers about their mediation experiences and practices. Aidan told us about his retreat, recalling his 30-minute breathing, 30-minute walking meditation pattern. This inspired our more scheduled approach to the 4 hours.
Together, drawing on our own personal experiences, we also included mantra, symbolic rituals, movement meditation, and self-love exercises
Allowance of 3 Bathroom Breaks
Sue: on the hour
Nicole: on the :15
Emily: on the :30
Mantra: I am more than enough.
8:00 - 8:30 Settling in: With pen and paper, writing our intentions
8:30–9:00 Gratitude: People, opportunities, essentials, etc…
9:00–9:30 Walking meditation
9:30–10:30 Object/theme: String
10:30–11:30 Mantra/writing or Bodywork : Massaging, body love
11:30 - 12:00 Breathing meditation
12:00 - 1:00 Debrief
Materials
Each room had the following:
GoPro to record a timelapse at 5 second intervals
Laptop with webcam to record full length video
Chair
Table
Blackout curtain for privacy
Documentation: Timelapse
Debrief: Final Thoughts and Reactions VS How We Thought We Would Feel
We all agreed that the experience was much easier than we anticipated, demonstrating that our fear of loneliness is often worse than the experience of it. It was still difficult, but instead of feeling tortured, we were able to create a positive and peaceful experience. Afterwards, we were all in a state of calm.
Our breakups prompted us to formulate this experience, but we only felt gratitude for the various people and things that existed in our lives.
Questions / Further Development
How would the experience be different if we were in relationships and not feeling lonely?
What if this experience happened immediately after our breakups, without sufficient time to process our emotions?
Would it have been harder if it took place in the morning when we weren’t so exhausted?
How would our behaviors have changed if we incorporated the audience in an interactive way?
How different would it be if the room was soundproofed? (We observed voices of other students and the humming of the laptop fans)
Did the presence of a laptop/camera alter our behavior?
How would the experience change if we were not in a school setting?